Airistotle

The Tumblr of Matthew Patrick Sebastian Burns. Enjoy.

Don’t promise when you’re happy,
Don’t reply when you’re angry and
Don’t decide when you’re sad.

—athea (via invhale )

(via cuntofawitch)

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via pingpongmaster)